ABOUT ANNA

Anna is an American born into a refugee family who escaped Vietnam in 1975 and built their new home in California, USA. In pursuit of a better life afforded by the sacrifices of her parents, she received degrees in both Mathematics and Electrical Engineering.
In 2018, after years of struggling with her health, Anna was pushed to pursue a calling to heal herself from within. She initially pursued the avenues of Traditional Chinese Medicine, Aryuveda, Exclusion Dieting, Fasting, Meditation and Yoga. It was during these pursuits that she was introduced to the Enneagram for Personalities at the end of 2020 and became a student of the Chestnut Paes Enneagram Academy based in London in 2021. Since then, she uses the Enneagram for Personalities and the Enneagram for Natural Processes as her modality for understanding herself, her personality and her life journey.
Next to her professional job as an engineer, she enjoys spending time in the outdoors connecting to the mountains and the sea whether hiking, trail running or climbing. With kindness, love and humility, she embraces her calling to be a powerful healer, an inspiring leader, a compassionate medium between different realms and an open channel for higher understanding – in joy.

My journey is a story of healing.

I have always wanted to see myself as pragmatic, logical and able to keep things together. So much that I turned away from my intuitive sensitivities in order to cultivate this image I believed I needed to be. At 11, my family lost the home I grew up in and I saw my father as unable to provide for us. Next to coming to the US as Vietnamese refugees, this was another example of losing a sense of home for me. In Vietnamese culture, family always comes first before the individual and there is an unspoken knowing that each family member will support and take care of each other. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I was convinced that I would need to one day also take up that load. It was always on my mind to place my family first.

 

I studied in school, which came with surprising ease.  At university I studied Mathematics in the US, moved to Germany and studied Electrical Engineering and then landed in Switzerland to work as an Engineer . It was as a way to prove to myself that I could be good enough and smart enough. It worked for a time as I became confident and gained a sense of self-worth when I started working as an engineer. In reality, my need to have the status of calling myself an engineer was greater than the joy of being an engineer as I was plagued with a feeling of inferiority. I suffered as my personality convinced me that living this false-self would bring me all the appreciation, love, acceptance and material safety I wasn’t aware I was striving for.

 

In pursuit of what I thought I wanted, I numbed away my emotions of grief, anger and fears. I was completely unaware  of what I felt, what I knew was that I needed to be able to function. I needed to be likeable and joyful – although I knew I wasn’t likeable. The smile on my face was a built-in and often mechanical method of self-defense. I needed to conform in order to feel safe in a crowd of majority male engineers. I convinced myself that this was what I wanted. I wanted to feel a joy within myself, that I felt completely disconnected from.

 

This discrepancy of who I needed to be and who I was meant to be revealed itself in my skin and my health. My stress grew as I struggled to keep up with the false version of myself. My internal mental and emotional state deteriorated. My body raged and screamed that there was something wrong internally – and I ignored those signals until I couldn’t anymore. My body was speaking a truth to me, but all I understood was that my body was at war with me. 

My suffering took me to an Ayurvedic retreat center in Sri Lanka. Everyday, I was doused in warm oil and  received a lymphatic clearing massage, ate organic vegan food each day, was told I ate too much in general and was given a new list of food to avoid. I studied Ayurveda in order to understand its secrets in a deeper level and my personality took over and convinced me that I’ve been doing everything wrong. At the retreat, an intuitive Buddhist monk came to visit the center and told me that my skin issue was related to my anger. That the anger I have is derived from an ancestor who had been very angry. That anger changes the composition of the blood and has passed through the generations into my families blood. When I asked about how I can change this for my family. He answered:

You First

I couldn’t conceptualize what this actually meant at the time. I had spent my entire life putting others before me – but whatever that would mean, I was resolved to be less angry. I wanted to choose more compassion for others. I wanted to choose more positivity. I wanted… to no longer be in pain, so I misinterpreted the monk’s words.

 

In my mind, if I were stricter with my diet, if I understood others better, if I just tried harder, if I just did more! – I would get better, I would feel less pain and I would be happier. And if you’ve gotten to this point in my story, you might be able to see the cycle of self-blame I was stuck in. whenever I was upset to foster an inner-state of what I believed to be peace. I focused on being even more positive and understanding the other’s perspective. I was trying to change my mental thoughts without acknowledging and honoring what I now realize what he tried to tell me:

Include Yourself in the circle of compassion

Today, I can see the clarity of what I was told during this talk with the Sri Lankan Buddhist monk. By dismissing my inner hurt and feelings, I was not honoring myself. It would take me a couple years and using the Enneagram intensely to identify my shadows and give space to the deep well of emotions within me. I approached the many inner children within me and allowed them space. I gave them love. I gave them space. I gave them my attention. And each child has a lesson…a teaching… a truth for me to learn.

Be Courageous

The courage to be me. The courage to be free. The courage to trust. The courage to love. The courage to live. 

And my journey continues – One. Step. At. A. Time.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU?

Quite often, the journey into the dark may feel daunting with no way out. All along our journey we are given opportunities to venture into those spaces that feel so unknown. What you find through the darkness will always be unique to you, but know that you don’t have to find your way by yourself.

 I don’t claim to have a one-fits-all approach to healing. What I do offer?

 

My presence. I’m here. With you now. 

 

And in this moment, I am a guide, a witness, a space of safety, a mirror – for your experience.

 

With love. With compassion. With gratitude.